I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize