I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize