i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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