i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
