I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
