So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
