she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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