Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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