I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
