So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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