The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish I could teleport
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We are all done wearing pants today
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
