winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
