I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
