This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My vagina just recognized that song.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
