Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
