I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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