I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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