so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
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