y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize