Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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