did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
