Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
