I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize