Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
