you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize