Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
