True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
