I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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