yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
