ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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