my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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