Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
