There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
