dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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