i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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