Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
