How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
