I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize