i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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