I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
