This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I love having hate sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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