Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
