just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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