do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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