i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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