yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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