Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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