I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
