im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
