idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
