Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
