so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
