wanna go halves on a baby?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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