Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
