I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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