I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
