plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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