We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
