So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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