I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
