Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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