Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
