these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
