Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
