I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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