I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
