Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
